Rendering verdicts

I had my first day of jury duty yesterday—not particularly exciting. The judge told us the week would be very light, which I’m grateful for; I don’t have to report today at all, so I get to go to work and grade papers, whoopee! In fact the Municipal Court only had one case to try yesterday at all, the city versus a teenager charged with driving with a suspended license, driving with an open container, and possessing alcohol while a minor. That was one sad looking puppy. He sat there with his grandparents and his lawyer looking like somebody was going to eat him.

I was called for his jury. I thought for sure I’d be dismissed, liberal teetotaling wacko that I am, but neither of the lawyers asked any questions, and they only dismissed two women based on either their occupations or their clothes. I still can’t figure out what those lawyers were thinking choosing me—maybe the defense thought since I was a professor I was sympathetic to students (little do they know it’s exams, the week of excuses and pleas for extra credit), and maybe the prosecutor thought I’d be well versed in understanding nuance? Who knows.

It ended up being a moot point—after choosing the jurors, the judge sent us out into the jury room so she could deal with certain matters of law that didn’t concern us, she said, where we sat for over half an hour. One guy in the room apparently had some disorder that made him unable to sit in silence, which is what everybody else seemed to want to do, because he talked nonstop about nothing until I wanted to strangle him (I always hated Seinfeld). Fortunately we were right there where I could’ve pled insanity. I’d brought a book and tried to read, so it could’ve been worse. Finally they called us back into the courtroom to tell us that thanks to the jury’s hard work the case had been disposed of. Evidently she really meant it, though. She said that many cases depended on the fact that a jury was ready and waiting in the next room. I can see her point—no pressure.

The judge said we probably wouldn’t be needed again until Thursday, which I really hope is true. I can give my own exams Wednesday instead of sending my proctors—much better all around for everybody. In the meantime I should probably get my act together and get to work. I have piles of student essays waiting for me to render a verdict.